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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Migraines suck.

Nothin' new there, but a point I feel like reiterating this morning.

Mine pop up in a rather trippy fashion. First, I get a point of bright white light in my field of vision, a very fast little flash. And then a while later, my periphreal vision checks out, followed by the rest of my sight. I can see light. I can see dark. If I concentrait, I can make out enough shapes to manage dialing a phone or sending off an e-mail by touch. But still? Flyin' blind. This means I've got a twenty minute window to medicate before the pain sets in.

My only course for migraines these days has turned into a mad chug: 600 mils of Advil, a decongestant, caffeine (a Coke or coffee) and then finding a dark room to cower in until the scales fall from my eyes. Advil is reapplied every two hours as needed. If I can follow this model, I'm fine. If I can't? Hello lunch. Nice to see you again.

I went to a neurologist about this a couple of years ago. She put me in an MRI tube, peered at some fuzzy scans of my brain (yes, I have one. Even freakier, it fills my skull, which means there's grey matter behind that fivehead) and announced I had occular migraines and she couldn't find the cause. She pointed at a narrower than normal artery around the base of my skull and said it might be the culprit in the same way Julius Caesar might have committed suicide. She told me to count my blessings that the migraine has chosen to settle mostly in my eyes, which "takes the edge off the pain" and then told me to keep doing what I'm doing.

Advil, decongestant, caffeine, dark room, check. Green chile also seems to be a cure, but then again, green chile is a cure for just about everything.

I run through maybe six migraine episodes a year, sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes they're clustered, sometimes I can go for months with just tension headaches or sinus headaches. I keep looking for triggers, and I've decided it's come down to bright lights, allergies, stress and those smarmy eHarmony ads.

Oh, my God. I've just rambled about my head for fifteen minutes. I'm sorry. I suck.

More funny later, I promise.

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