So now comes word that Jude Law is suffering from Eric Benet Syndrome, that is, the need to screw around on a famously beautiful partner (see: Eric Benet, David Beckham, Hugh Grant).

I admit that Sienna Whozit has done absolutely zip for me; unlike Keira Knightly or Scarlet Johanson (prior to her skeevy encounter with skeevy del Torro) Sienna strikes me as a blank canvas with perfectly distressed dishwater blonde hair. But still, she's so very It right now, mostly for being Jude's arm candy, I think.

But this isn't a screed about her. No. This is me being outraged that he offered her a public apology. Where was the apology to the nanny? Where was the "I'm sorry, I'm a git all the way around?"

A quick Google search turned up a picture of the nanny — one Daisy Wright, 26 — and her gossipy counterpoint as told to a British tabloid. The picture is telling. She's positioned in a gauzy dress number that shows off her cleavage, but hides her tummy and her bare arms speak volumes: they are a far cry from the skin-covered bones Sienna rocks. She is, in short, a real woman, curves and all.

I'm giving it three days before Fleet Street villifies her for the cardinal sin of being "fat" and still bedding a star. God forbid they give Jude any flack for being a chubby chaser, no, no. He must patch up his relationship with the model, right? He's So Beautiful, he can't possibly want a girl who eats and then doesn't bother to throw up afterwards. She'll be branded the Evil Strumpet and fade into oblivion while Jude and Sienna do a Posh and Becks publicity tour, smiling through their teeth and praying Tom Cruise marries Katie within the week to take the heat off.

God.