Everyone, listen up! We've invented a new game.

For the past couple of months, Adam's been Tivoing episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation off of Spike and inflicting them on me, including one last night featuring Ken Jenkins as a cranky astronomer.

It took about three seconds to recognize him as Dr. Bob Kelso, but when we did? Game on.

The rules were simple. Whenever Dr. Bob was on screen, insert Kelso quotes in place of the pseudoscientific babble.

"Guess what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso!"

"Paging Dr. Backbone to the bajingo ward."

"The real question is: how can I make love to her when she's not at fat camp?"

" I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!"

"Forty Million, Son. You have any idea how many patients I had to ignore to get that high-score? People died."

"Oh what the hell. Back in '68 I don't like you. The end. "

"Ketchup is for winners, Ted."

Ted was, of course, played by Captin Jean Luc Piccard.

Scrubberizing is appropriate for any cast member. Johnny C. in "Platoon?" Rants. Neil Flynn in "Mean Girls?" "She only has pointer and thumb pinky."

"Garden State" has suddenly become way less angsty.

"Gawwwwoooooah!"