Parts of posts I will never make (but should):

* Kittens. In the office. Ohemgee, dude. At one point, my co-worker had a phone in one hand and a kitty in the other, and even though I could hear the client yelling at her, she wore this expression of complete bliss because KITTEN. Seriously. And then the next day, someone brought around their brand new baby for free snuggles.

I don't work in Corporate America. I work in Happy Land.

* "[This band] sounds like the Electric Teeth, except angry. With Rolf singing."

"After many tequilas and 'luudes -- also, he shanked Dr. Teeth on the bus in a desperate bid for stardom."

"The shanking came he had the epiphany that 'Dr. Teeth' is just a euphemism for 'dentist.'"

"Rolf had a traumatic experience with dentists as a young pup."

"Haven't we all?"

* So, we're following this drizzled yellow paint line down 7th between Silver and Gold, and I'm still convinced that this could be one of those coincidences, when Adam shows me where the line slaloms through the line of parking meters, which is when I concede that okay, it's fucking with him.

* I'm not sure which is the most unsettling bit: that I have a little bit of a crush on Sushi Guy, or that Adam is okay with the crush on Sushi Guy and maintains that Sushi Guy reciprocates, or that when we went in for dinner yesterday, Sushi Guy noticed my hair and said it looked good. Please notice that in all of this, I am not disturbed by how much sushi we've been eating.

* I'm standing there in the dress repeating to myself, "this is Diane Von Furstenberg, it is a size eight, and you friggin' FIT it," myself can't help but point out, "it's still a sack."

I bought it anyway, because I am weak. Also, did I mention my formerly-sized 22 ass fit into something in the single digits? Yeah, I am that shallow.

* And now I'm in the market for a used Mini Cooper S.

* Seriously, anyone want a house on the West Side?

* And that's how I finished my first pair of socks.